The 6 Moods That Slap Me Out Of Nowhere
Why am I crying in the snack aisle again?
I never plan for the emotional side quests. They just show up, fully uninvited, like they pay rent.
One minute I’m fine. The next I’m fighting for my life over a slightly weird text and a paper towel that ripped in half.
These are the six moods that sneak up, knock me sideways, and leave me wondering if I’m actually okay. (Spoiler: I'm not. But it's fine.)
1. The "Everything Is Stupid" Spiral
Starts with: One dumb email
Ends with: “What even is the point of pants?”
I know I shouldn’t let one small inconvenience unravel my will to function.
But here I am. Spiraling because the WiFi blinked and now my whole to-do list feels like a personal attack.
2. Main Character Energy (For No Reason)
Starts with: A decent outfit and good lighting
Ends with: Me dramatically staring out the window like I’m in a Taylor Swift montage
This is the mood where I suddenly believe I’m destined for something bigger.
Even though I cried over a bent straw fifteen minutes ago.
3. Sudden Rage Toward All Objects
Starts with: One drawer not closing properly
Ends with: “Burn the house down. It’s cursed now.”
This is a very specific kind of anger. The kind that makes you want to fight a piece of furniture. I don’t want to live like this. But also, if that cord trips me one more time, I will throw hands.
4. Melancholy at Maximum Volume
Starts with: A memory
Ends with: Me in the dark. Holding a throw pillow. Listening to sad music I definitely did not need right now.
I don’t know who let Adele back into my playlist. But this is their fault and I hope they’re happy.
5. Hyperfixation Gremlin Mode
Starts with: A random thought
Ends with: Me knowing 17 obscure facts about raccoon sleep cycles at 2 a.m.
My brain picks a subject and goes full send.
“This is who we are now,” it says. And I respect her commitment.
6. Sudden Sentimentality Over Literal Trash
Starts with: Cleaning out a drawer
Ends with: “But what if I need this receipt from 2013?”
I don’t cry at weddings. But I will absolutely get emotional over a crumpled movie ticket from a night I barely remember.
Bonus Mood: All Six at Once
Because sometimes I am the main character.
With rage in my heart. Tears in my eyes. A raccoon fact in one browser tab. A broken drawer behind me.
And a crusty receipt in my hand like it’s a love letter from the past.
I am simply trying my best.
Welcome to the Dork Side.
— Katters @ Release the Dorken
